There's Nothing Artificial
About This Intelligence

Fit
Häus
Auto
Classic

Fârnhäan Häus is the new head-of-household

Häus
  • 7x more luminous
  • Sticks on your wall with included space age adhesive*
  • Patented HIVEMIND honmeycomb structure
* includes one (1) 9 meter roll of duct tape

Fârnhäan Auto: the ultimate in backseat-driving

Auto
  • Luxurious wood-grain
  • Includes AM radio
  • Dimmer switch for nighttime driving

Run away from responsibility with Fârnhäan Fit

Fit
  • Provides correct time twice per day
  • Tracks biometrics and bad memories
  • Sends calories to your enemies

Fârnhäan Classic is a box in a cylindrical world

classic
  • The same six sides you know and love
  • Constructed from 100% sustainably farmed right-angles
  • Wood

Lifelike Responses

Fârnhäan has lived millions of simulated lifetimes, giving him the wisdom of the wisest sage.

Scary Story
Sending Calories
Where are we going
User
Hey Fârnhäan,
Tell us something scary!
Fârnhäan
Student loan debt.
User
Hey Fârnhäan,
Send 80 calories to Brad.
Fârnhäan
Goodbye, Brad's beach-bod!
Hey Fârnhäan,
Where are we going?
Funkytown!🎵

Introducing New Aptitudes

Put your mind at ease by ridding yourself of troublesome concerns. Fârnhäan is concerned for you.